Week 16

I read other posts and see the progressions that others are making, and I feel in harmony with their statements and accomplishments.  For me, finding crafty ways to be kind is fun, and it brings back to me far more than I give it.  Lesson learned.  have a little faith, Orren, for ALL the virtues work this way.  Give more get more, you become what you think and see in others, and what you focus on is amplified and made solid through physical manifestation in your surroundings.  Focus focus focus.  Easier with the disciplines and exercises.

So kindness is flourishing.  I experience it daily, and it is blissful.  On top of that icing, my cake is starting to be eaten.  In other words, the main objective in my DMP is already in motion, as I spent part of this last week in harmonious manifestation of the idea.  Just as I had envisioned.  It included a lot of driving.  I have always had a hard time staying alert on long drives.  Not this time.  Tired, worn out, lacking sleep and wet and cold from hiking for hours through the northern woods of MN along the canadian border, weighed down with production gear, I wasn’t tired once back behind the wheel.  Crazy.  Never have I felt so energized

Like Mark likes- the ant who devours a lion- and like the scroll of persistence explained- while hiking through areas of deep snow, just keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Each step is little, but the end result and manifested process are immense.

For now, all smiles and memories of jagged hill country and frosty breath.  I even peed a heart shape in the snow.  Probably more information than anyone needed, but hey, I am motivated by creative expression, what can I say?..

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Week 15

Man has manifested more through the concentrated power of thought than any other creature on the planet.  This certainly sets us apart from the other animals, and to decry or deny this is to disinherit our unique gifts.  Among the things I have listened to recently was a talk from Earl Nightingale where he pointed out that this power of thought is really the only difference between man and the other animals.  Horses, pigs, apes, etc.  all have lungs, hearts, brains, etc.  But they cannot do the unique thing that we can do- turn a thought into a thing to anywhere near the degree that man can.   An interesting gift, then, and it begs the question yet again, what will we do with it?

The Franklin makeover.  I was highly disorganized.  This is the first lowest point score.  I see around me organization now that I focus on it.  I see it in complex designs, mechanical processes, etc.  Odd, too, as one of my professions requires me to engineer, design, incorporate load stress criteria, and build with selected materials all sorts of critical structures that, if poorly organized in their construction process, will fail and lead to serious injury and harm to a human.  I never fail at these.  I cannot fail.  I submit and listen to the metal, the wood, the electricity, the systems, and I work within the confines and limits of the products supplied.  The disorganization does not occur in my active life, it is though highly apparent in my passive life.  In the part of my life that I have not connected maintenance to productivity, or valued highly the mundane, or what I perceived as mundane.  So I shall elevate and rise.  Not that I ever let a lens get dirty, but dirty lenses make for poor pictures at the top of Everest.  There is value in small details.  There is value in clean spaces.  There is gold there.  Room to grow.  Everywhere I look, from highways to computer code to musical arrangements, there is organization.  It is mathematical in its application but harmonious in its result.

15-17.  Words are power.  Words used to create thoughts injected into our subconscious with feeling become who and what we are and where we are going, or not going.  Careful what we link together as thought statements.  Be picky.  This is what I felt was the implication of 17.  And it ties in with the last scroll- I do not walk or talk with the sheep.  Sheep are not picky about who they talk with, what words are used, what thoughts are conveyed, and where those conversations that eventually sink into their heads will lead them.  Be picky.  Make your own.

15-20 states that we know that universal thought has for its goal the creation of form.  Well, form would be a physical manifestation of a thought, as thoughts without form are only thought energies yet to be expressed.  This is why writing things down is so important, and the exercises are just that- ways to make us get our thoughts into form.  Once in the physical, it can grow into its ultimate expression.

I suppose what I see in essence is that the universe wishes to use us to create and manifest when it chooses to certain things.  It does this by injecting creative thoughts into us in the hopes that we will act upon those ideas.  Universe is taking on a big job, as it probably injects the same idea into thousands of people in the hopes that one or two actually follow through on that idea, thus bringing about a more harmonious universe.  For all the mistakes humans make, we live in a better world for every person than ever before.  So keep adding to it.  Anyway, being that the universe wants to use us but we are often resistant, what creates that resistance?  The clutter.  The unfocused mind.  The old peptides and the quick fix dopamine releases.  The escape methods.  So many things that hinder the universe from using us to our full potential, which by all accounts is pretty infinite.

So here at week 15 more comes together, and the course itself brings more harmony to productive concentrated effort.  Funny, but it feels like it was created for two sides of the same human coin.  One, to clear out the useless bullhonky that distracts our potential.  Two, to create the tools within our conscious minds to inject the subconscious with the thoughts it needs to get things done that the universe wants done.  The sit, the readings, the mental diet, the reformation (my rendition of the Franklin deal), the gratitude threes per day, the zooms, the polos (which I admit I am not as strong at using as I should be, and that changes today! as what I should be is what I already am) – all these things are simply freeing my soul of the shackles that I once tied it down with.  The cement is really a great analogy.  But these tools, these things, these ideas put into form, create within each of us the ability to truly be a vessel for the creative forces at work.  It is so much bigger than any one of us.  Thus even the mastermind- because no one can do it alone, but even the universe needs your special self to accomplish its goal.  What a thought!  The universe needs YOU.  As it gives you life, you give it creative form!

 

Week 14

I have been able to spend the last few weeks listening to Earl Nightingale (even before it was suggested) and have found it useful, along with other works along the same vein.  In think and grow rich, it is said that there are two parts to the secret that when one is ready, one will know.  I am not sure I know for sure, but driving home last week from work, as I had been contemplating this concept for some time now, what sprang into mind was the simple dynamic of – idea plus persistent action- and wham!  the world becomes yours as you become the world’s.  And it has to be that way.  Can you imagine the world having an idea and trying to stuff all it’s creative thought and power into you alone?  You’d implode!  You can’t accept that much!  That is why people with these ideas end up rich in much more than material wealth, but in any way they see fit- because the values must hold equal.  It is like solving algebraic equations- where you are given certain values, some on one side of the equal sign, and some on the other.  You solved the problems by finding the values through certain processes.  And these things, even now, are equaling out.  They can and will change if you do, but they presently are the sum of all the parts, and those natural laws are not changeable.  So work the equation and see it to the end.

Think about it- take your dmp ideas to the very limit of your desires…  How many people will that touch at it’s maximum potential?  Hundreds?  Thousands?  If the idea and the value it holds had to be returned in the exact way it was received, do you really want or could you really handle thousands of people showing up at your door?  Probably not, and me neither.  So the universe must and will give back that value to you to equal the scales, give more get more, so it makes it really easy and simply gives you whatever you want, whatever you dream of, and that is whatever you think about the most charged with emotion.  But often, we are mostly charged with emotions about the patterns we have been repeating for decades, thus manifesting the same exact (or worse) conditions than those we had in years past.

I didn’t care for algebra when I was younger.  It didn’t make much sense.  I recall that when I turned 25 it suddenly made sense, but I never knew the cause of it.  Anyway, what clicked is that it balanced out.  Well, this balances out too.  All the examples of people who had an idea and backed it with defined plans of action who were persistently relentless, no matter how absurd their ideas came across to the general public, these peoples ideas became giants in and of themselves.  The people were still just the same old little humans, but the ideas became larger than they were or could ever be.  The people were just the conduit, the gateway for the universe to express itself in another way.  I think this is why we have been told again and again to drop the opinions, be the observer, and basically mind your own business.  Having all these opinions can be interesting, but its really only interesting if you have nothing better to do.  Literally.  I remember years ago, as a kid fresh out of high school, being invited over to a new friends house to watch SNL on a saturday night.  I didn’t know what SNL was, I said.  Saturday night live, she said.  I replied, so you want me to come hang out and watch TV- that sounds absolutely boring.  And for me it would have been, as my saturday nights consisted of working on hot rod cars and drag racing and cruising the local streets on hot nights admiring each others work on our muscle cars (mine was a dodge charger).  It may not have been for everyone, and that’s fine.  But I felt alive, and we were engaged in our own lives.  Doing something, building things.  Didn’t have much time or care for opinions, unless it had something to do with getting past 180 mph.

I think much the same now about my dmp and the dmp’s of others.  And those men and women of change and industry and art and creativity and adventure and exploration…  They were not too concerned with all the opinions of this or that or whatever…  But they sure were keyed into their own driving purpose.  They refused to take no for an answer, and so now we know their names.  I happen to think that the future will know a lot of our names…

 

 

 

Week 13

My dmp is something I need to pay a bit of attention to.  Polish it up a bit.  Get it right with getting it right.  Time is important.  Used to be wasted time.  Now there is only useful time and engagement in life coupled with an awareness of being part of something much bigger than myself while simultaneously being the conduit for that which needs my unique attributes.  And week 13 is right on time.

What I have found on this expedition is that when given enough thought energy, when focused on in an intelligent way, when the method is open to correction, the path becomes more revealing and less cluttered.  The law of give more get more sets opportunity upon the path, instead of me being on the path of opportunity.  The scales must balance, as in all things.  Is the goal a get, or is it a give?  Daily, with each breath, each moment, especially when I think something may be below me or mundane, I find it has become the ultimate test of my entire being, a menial task turned into heroically saving the world in the visually gruesome beauty of goring the picador as it had tried to stab me repeatedly.  Nothing I do is menial, repetitive or of little use.  You change the world with a change of mind.

As I submit more and more, I recognize the major purpose is now becoming a list of musts and obligations that I genuinely cannot wait to accomplish.  And I think submission in the self is key.  I couldn’t use anything, find methods, practice certain things to connect myself to the universal mind.  It’s a fallacy to think a person can, and I realize that now.  We all are already connected.  Already arrived, already there.  Acceptance of that unification with the whole makes it so much easier, much more streamlined.  One only needs to clear the way, wipe off the desk of life, and set upon the desk the project you desire and begin your work.  You didn’t build the desk, the office, the pens or the paper, you just brought forth the project and the world conspires to bring  into your presence the manufacturer, the laborers, the consultants, the engineers and managers to bring your project to fruition.

This is the observable reality of my present life.  The project is larger than myself.  What started as an idea is now a thing, and I am only playing a supportive role in it’s manifestation and ultimate expression.  I have camera equipment to bring to a business associate.  I have a 3 day expedition in January filming in the cold, frozen, northern outdoors.   I did not even have to set the dates for this, these were set for me by others, by the project itself and the others involved in it.  It is the active manifestation of my dmp, what my life is becoming more and more of.  Ideas are things.  They are tangible, they can bend time and space and build anything you can dream of.

I will be sipping coffee around a fire somewhere outdoors in a few short weeks, shooting video along the north shore of Lake Superior.  I will inhale and exhale, tasting the heavy, cold dense air and I will feel frost build upon my brow and around my mouth.  I will be looking at my associates and they will be looking at me, knowing that what we are doing is bringing great good to others while not taking away anyone else’s good.   Every sore muscle and cold finger will be placed upon the scale, every wall rappelled and every trail broken will be set upon the side of give.  More and more give, and we will smile, knowing that we are already part of it all.  The universe asked me to be there, even before I was born.  All I had to do was show up.  The rest is history, and the future.  That is what week 13 means to me.

Week 12

Week 12, and more pieces are falling automatically in to place.  Resistance and projection are useless, the power of observation is in and of itself a great lesson teacher, if one bothers to become a relevant student.  To think that one could change anything but themselves in the grand shape of the universe is an interesting thought, and can be observed by the unhappiness in those who attempt to live their lives outside of it.

If anything in retrospect I see in myself, previously, the exact things that brought me to this moment in existence.  Where I live, with whom I associate, what I value and the decisions and results I lose or gain according to those values, and the desires I have held dear that have manifested either the order or the chaos which has become, to one degree or another on multiple facets, my life.  Prior to the mks, the dominant parts of my dmp were already in motion.  So in applying the laws and getting in harmony internally, I am seeing the manifestation of those things on a scale of which it is challenging to stay in pace with.  Things are happening far faster than I expected.  But these are great problems to have, and only need some modifications to my thoughts through the day to bring to me the help I will soon need.  And someone has already popped into mind for a particular reason, and certainly not due to conscious thought or directed thought.  Rather, a massive desire and need to connect with this individual because of certain ideals and specialized abilities they have perfected, knowing what a massive addition it will make to my already amazing team.  Where did that impulse come from?  Who placed this obsession for this one previously known person into my being?  I will just do as I am led by that which I am part of.  So much easier that way, and it is all that way.

In the lesson, at 22, I really dig the last statement.  Educated desire is the most potent means of bringing into action the law of attraction.  As I was listening previously to some random stuff at work, it brought to light the latin root of ‘educate’, which is ‘educe’, which means to draw out.  So a thoroughly drawn out desire, one truly perfected and worked at brings the law into your lap.

I also was thrilled at the observations made about the substitutes that have been played at and toyed with to try to get to the core of harmony with the laws, as though there were shortcuts to become closer to the universal consciousness.   It’s right there, inside everyone, ready for the acceptance and grace we all are granted.

I am enjoying this.  Every minute.

Week 11

In learning and embracing the shortcomings of my perceptions as to the why’s and how’s of living a life,  my misbegotten reactions to my past, and the immense powers that rest just below my fingertips, I am glad for some of the turns I chose that went further off the normal paths and the commonly accepted ways and means.   I have been listening to Hill’s audiobooks while I work.  On one occasion, he makes a point that one of the worst tragedies a person can make is the concept of conformity.  Subjectively for many, this means rebellion.  I wondered at my own at times.

But this week’s lesson brings to bear upon my soul a sort of peace, and knowledge that it is not my burden to bear, my weight to carry, or even my change to make.  All I have to do is accept the absolute natural, stop the projections, and let the river flow where I ask it to take me.  Trying to ignore the fundamental glaring obvious connections for a small selfish gain is only going to create upset over time.  Two and two always equals four, and for some reason if it doesn’t, if you study the reason long enough you’d find you were actually adding the wrong things, sometimes at the wrong times.  Walking around with your eyes open to more than just your preferences adds the deductive value and allows, for a time, one to plug themselves in to the universal.  Knowledge, after application with will, allows a life to unfold almost effortlessly.  Back to scroll 1, where a large part of success is learning how to avoid failure on the journey to creating one’s own version of self-made heaven on earth.   Difficult to run a footrace with a boxcar on your back.  Even more difficult when you surround yourself with others who carry boxcars, as it is also pointed out that our brains are not only a transmitter but also a receiver.  The watchman at the gate is there to filter out, warn, and bring awareness to our surroundings, not so much to keep us from falling in a hole physically, but to be aware of all we are absorbing by who we are in proximity with.  Thus week 11, and the law of attraction.

A thought hit me about capacity and capability last week, and how we do things or don’t do them.  That, on top of the list of non-usable excuses in Think and Grow Rich, gave me this thought-  as I am still recovering from brain surgery, although my progress is good, I am still weak, I knew that over the summer I was not capable of much.  I literally was not able to do many things I had the capacity to accomplish.  Was odd for me to be so physically weakened that even walking was difficult, and sustainable for a very short time.  But my capacity was not diminished.

ca·pac·i·ty
kəˈpasədē/
noun
  1. the ability or power to do, experience, or understand something.
    “I was impressed by her capacity for hard work”
ca·pa·bil·i·ty
ˌkāpəˈbilədē/
noun
noun: capability
the extent of someone’s or something’s ability.
plural noun: capabilities
“the job is beyond my capabilities
My capabilities, though, are still in the works, yet, I know I will recover and due to choices to empower myself to an even greater degree,  my capabilities have yet to be pushed against to find their eventual limits.  I will persist, and I will succeed.
But the query it brought me to, was thus- as I am becoming more aware, capacity deals more with one’s overall potential, and capability more with one’s kinetic abilities.  Tapping into objective constants and understandings only aligns oneself with the fluidity of how easy life can be and actually is when one grasps the ideal of what one is capable of, and acts on it in a harmonious way with the objective.  So why, when I was capable of more, did I not act in accordance with nature?  I will persist in asking this, as it is probably a reason why I have chosen discord in the past as a way of life.
For now and forever, I am not like the sheep waiting to be sent to the slaughterhouse of failure.  I persist and I succeed.

Week 10

This week’s master key is something I really feel in alignment with.  It does not mean I have followed the proper and better paths for my optimum existence- had I done that, there would be fewer questions and more actions- but regardless of how I subjectively feel about anything or try to impose anything from the self onto my existence, the universe has little regard for any attempt at self justification of any actions.

A long time ago, a thought had popped into my head that any action that I needed to justify was not a good one or a positive one.  This had nothing to do with anyone else or judgement from the outside world or family of origin, but simply the thought that popped into me head after a long time of thinking about actions vs reactions, choices and decisions, and defensive positioning rather than understanding an objective reality.  An oak tree in a nearby field cares little for your own point of view or opinion, but it can observe quite well whether or not you are in harmony with life or at odds with it.  I happened to notice that actions which require a level of justification are at some level at odds with nature, the universe, etc.  And now, in the prologue to the MK week 10, I see a familiar thought-

“The ordinary man, who has no definite knowledge of cause and effect, is governed by his feelings or emotions.

He thinks chiefly to justify his action.  He never thinks his problem through to the end.  He does not know that every effect is the result of a certain definite cause, but he seeks to console himself with explanations and excuses.  He thinks only in self-defense.

On the contrary, the man who understands that there is no effect without an adequate cause thinks impersonally.  He gets down to bedrock facts regardless of consequences.  He is free to follow the trail of truth wherever it may lead.  He sees the issue clear to the end, and he meets the requirements fully and fairly, and the result is that the world gives him all that it has to give, in friendship, honor, love and approval.”

Often I heard people talk about a lot of ‘grey’ areas in life.  Usually, I found their use of this term and concept was applied to actions they had taken or were currently undertaking where they needed justification for themselves or their actions.  In the end, we either do something or we don’t.  We apply will and create of ourselves for ourselves or we become the inevitable result of not having a definite and purposeful mindset and constitution.  We embrace the opportunity to learn and be more in harmony or we continue in discord.  And this follows the law also of what we think of grows.  We are the result of every choice we ever made, and the best and most exquisitely stinging chunk of this cause and effect, linked to the ability to define how we will feel about what thoughts we have, is that for those things that may have been truly out of our control, particularly as children, we are 100 percent responsible for how we chose to continue to feel about them.  For me, all the anger and resentment and lack of forgiveness that I justified for decades no longer serves any purpose for my desires.  What’s the point?  Once the knowledge is there, it can’t apply itself, and I have to take action one way or another.  One option, hang on to old crap that serves no good purpose.  Option two of five thousand, let go and embrace a grand and glorious future.

I will greet this day with love in my heart, and while I am at it, I will stand by an oak tree and learn harmony from how it views the world and what it does.  Providing shade, a resting place, a meeting point, a landmark, a nesting place, a shelter from wind, an orchestra of sounds, a painter with shadow, and an ability to reach into the earth and create so much from the raw power of the most elemental of things- dirt.  To me, to see reflected in an oak just what happens when an unquestioning seed just becomes what it was designed to do- what can I do?  Were that tree given the ability to move, speak, etc.  what would it accomplish?

Cause and effect.  So simple.  I love it.  Just love it.

Week 9

I can be what I will to be.  Starting to purposefully define the ‘new’ me in the visionary context.  To truly visualize what I will feel like from the inside to the outside.  Will I talk differently?  Yes.   Will I listen differently?  Yes.  Less words, more time.  Pause, and clarification.  Always clarification.  Too often jumping before the understanding, and the result is scattered.  Do I understand my future self yet?  No.  Not wholly, and not completely.  But I do know he is a kinder version of me, especially to himself.  The expectations less in the mechanics and more in the intent.  Not that the mechanics themselves are not important, they are of the utmost importance.  The systems are the reasons it all works as it does.  Were it not for the exercises, the weight would never be moved, and could never be increased.  Intent is imperative, but understanding the importance of the mechanics is just as relevant.  Law of dual thought, and we all have been guilty of having great intentions, only to find we have not built the tools within to achieve those intentions.  Past, most just had a good feeling about having a good intention, as few people were ever witness to the fact that they did not carry it out.  Here, our intentions are clearly defined, our tools are being created, and the possibility of failing is nil.  There is no other way than the way forward.

My favorite suit was a Jones New York double breasted black, and it was the most comfortable suit I had owned up to that point.  It changed my posture, my feelings, etc.  When I wore it, my identity changed, and I was someone else from that which I was normally feeling.  I am building a new suit, a new identity.  There will be some things that are similar.  My core values will not change, as there are many valid reasons that flow with natural law so well that i would not have reason to adapt others.  But many of the other things that are internally wired are changing.  This in turn is creating a difference on the outside.

On a more physical note, and one that I am rather happy about, I don’t have as strong of a headache today as I have had in the past since my surgery.  It is really a massive relief.  I’ve never experienced much for chronic pain before, and I know my pain tolerance is pretty ridiculous as I have given myself stitches to repair myself without much duress, but it feels really good to not have such a headache.  Really good.  I will happily let go of that pain.

 

 

Week 8

Walking away.  Understanding the concept of leaving negativity behind, at least in the mechanical form, was a lesson understood decades ago.  I was not raised well, and at the hands of a tyrant father I endured many forms of things that shall not be discussed at present, as the instances of experiences are not the lesson to be learned.

What is important, though, is the shedding of evil.  Of that which consumes my mind, my time, my heart.  Would have liked to have thought I conquered these things before, and compared to many, I have and have thrived.  But again, another failure- comparing myself to others and their lives.  I do not want someone else’s life.  I want mine.  I may look at many people and know that I do not want what they are doing, having, or being, but it does no good to me and serves me in no good capacity, as the focus is not one my future self, my future life, and my path to great.

There was so much time I spent focusing on what I did not want to be, a replica of that lineal tyrant, that regardless of what my conscious mind was telling me, my subconscious mind was creating a life for me that revolved around the selfsame pain and terror that I survived as a child.  A life where I could experience the life and death crisis on a regular basis.  A life where I could experience hatred and brutality as a method to gain control of the fears and insecurities woven into my identity in my formative years.

 

At some point, while I stood over an opponent whom I had bloodied senseless, I realized that I had become more than the tyrant ever dreamed of becoming.  I had turned all the beauty of what I could be, what I was created to be and what I was meant to be into a fine and perfect machine for everything ugly, terrible and black.  Acid couldn’t compare to the dead potential I carried and perfected for malevolent behavior.

The exact thing I hated, I had become.  Except I was born to be an artist, to create, and to be a whirlwind of energy and focus.  The attributes listed prior were within me always.  What we are given, what we are, will show through even when we try to stifle it.  In this case, I became great at causing pain.  I was an artist with the emotion of hatred, and I used physical brutality to express my malcontent frustration with life itself.

It is very true indeed, we become what we focus on, not necessarily what we think we want to be.  I spent years hating the tyrant.  Everything about him, and swore I would never be like him.  I had limits, and the actions were not the same, but the dynamics were identical.  Remove the insecurities through force.  He had his ways, and he preyed upon innocence.  I reacted to this, and spent years fighting and keeping myself in positions where I could excuse my use of brutality through the justification of not victimizing anyone.  But honestly, we are all guilty, and we are all innocent.  Loving everyone is not so difficult as loving yourself once you figure out how to forgive.

I made many steps along the way to turn from that life.  But often I found myself reminiscing about the experiences, the events, the pains and the trauma.  Let go.  It’s not who you are, or who you want to be.  Let it go.  Let it go.  Stop it.  Stop seeing yourself as the thing you created long ago.  Instead, see what you want to create, see who you are in the future, and focus on creating him.  I did it once before- the mechanics were conscious methods, practical and practiced.  Lots and lots of practice.  How many times do you need to open-palm a telephone pole as hard as you can until you know you are hitting it perfectly?  A lot.  A lot a lot a lot.   Practice.  The subconscious was working all the time, hating the very thing that was, as a child, the embodiment of fear and terror in the human form.  That was it’s focus.  That is what it made.  What I made.

So full circle, and here I am.  Understanding even more now how the burning desire, the core beliefs and the undying faith being weapons of change to mold me into whatever I choose to be.  I will be what I choose to be.  Week 8 and things click yet again.  I did this before, and then again, but I never bothered to put myself on top of a pyramid overlooking all the world and every grand thing on it.  I am surrounded by people who are my greatest allies, here, and as I observe them they are observing me.  We are watching each other as though for the first time, and I am meeting their future selves as I introduce my future self to them, and it is beautiful.  Here there is joy, power, harmony and patience.  I forgive you, and I ask that you forgive me because you are beautiful.

 

Week 7

I find a negative thought from time to time, but overall in self-observation I really don’t get too worked up about much of anything in a negative way, I just look at things as opportunities to fix and learn something.  I am a very mechanical person by nature, and steel, electronics, cameras, automobiles, welders, buildings, burner control systems, etc.  it’s all very binary at the core, and so are we.  Law- cannot think of two things at the same time… so what are you thinking of?  What is your focus?  What meanings do we connect with whatever immediate experiences we have?  To experience is to be alive, but to assign meaning without thought is to stay a child.  As it was in the first scroll, the things we assigned meanings to as children become the habits we formed as adults.  Enslaved adults, running to avoid stick after stick after stick, rarely questioning our own aversions and assigned meanings.  Where is curiosity in that?  At one of my places of employment, I deal with a lot of wiring issues on semi-trucks.  Computer control systems, the power distribution panels, etc.  It forces patience and a moderated thought process that has no room for quitting or giving up.  Often, when faced with a 200 wire loom bundle jammed behind the dash with very little space to work, I take a breath, in through the nose and out through the mouth.  Feel the process, imagine the wiring, and just be.  Oddly enough, an answer or an idea shows up that I hadn’t thought of- maybe a way to track resistance or possibly check for stray voltage somewhere new.  And often, very often, the hunch is right.  To visualize things falling into place for an entire life is new, but it makes perfect sense.  I am having fun with the no negative thoughts idea though.  When others at the shop get intensely worked up about something not working right, and the epithets flow like a river, I calmly walk over and tell them to think of flowers.  Morning glories actually.  I had them when I was in 6th grade, along the back fence.  Have them now too on a trellis.  When I find myself dwelling, it is very easy to just think of my morning glory flowers and how they smiled at me this summer and fall.  It is such a great memory, especially considering I was still in deep recovery from brain surgery in May.  Sometimes it was hard just to get up out of bed.  Actually, it was always hard to get out of bed.  But I would stop and look at my morning glories and smile.  It was always worth getting out of bed for that, and so much more.  Forgiveness though, that is a struggle.  Not that I have any reason to hang onto enmity, I cut the sickness from my life years ago, and that person is but a small fraction of memories these days, and only brought to the fore by specified conversation or dreams and locked memories.  No, the process now is the recognition of patterns and assignments of intent, emotional visuals of who I felt I needed to be, and the letting go of the monsters that served to protect the child.  You cannot hold the ruthless hand of justice while attempting to cradle the infant and provide nourishment for a soul broken over the rotted stump of a family tree and expect anything balanced and beautiful to come of it.  Law, just like thought, you can either be beautiful or you can be terrible.  Often, I have found, through massive stick aversion therapy, I have been more terrible to myself than kind.  I found Think and Grow Rich on audiobook and am listening to it while I work.  Nothing negative there.  That’s all for now, but so much more is yet to come!