Week 22

And with the new scroll old realizations resurface, and I am happy that I have made many of the choices I have.

The focus is on staying emotionally centered, non-reactive, calm regardless of the quiet or the cacophony of external fluxes.  As a child, I saw this far too often in far too negative of ways.  I saw the lack of reflection upon the actions my parents were taking, and I saw them both retreat into their own various worlds of aggressive and passive defensive systems.  All so that neither one would have to face their feelings and become powerful.  Become vulnerable.  There is so much strength in that, it creates a tear in my eye for the beauty in it.  Still just the one eye though, the other has yet to produce enough duct material for tears.  But neither one had chosen their own path, both were allowing others, their own pasts, and the lack of inner direction to dictate their reactions to their own lives.

Today I will be the master of my emotions.

When I get upset or angry, I know why.  I can articulate my emotional states quite well.  Awareness is something I don’t retreat from.  When I am joyful, I know why.  I enjoy the range of these feelings, as they are tools built into us to help guide us through this life.  But as has been brought out, we can assign emotions to thoughts, and thoughts are brought on by experiences, and linking our experiential thoughts to emotions brings about how we react in the dynamic state of existence.

The more negative emotions are not necessarily negative.  But often we link them to the wrong thought processes, as we often are falling into the same trap as my parents did- flying the bird of life blindly.  Actually, there aren’t negative emotions, there are just negative thought patterns we can link to our emotions.  Our emotions are just a specialized set of tools that feed us information about our surroundings.   But to take this information, to shape it, to mold it, to bend it to our will and make it serve our purpose… this is real power, and real vulnerability.

When we don’t attempt to control or master our emotions, we often let fly our impulsive natures that can be used as tools of massive creation or massive destruction, but either way, it is not long lasted.  Impulsive, unbridled emotions left unchecked, unquestioned and rarely analyzed leaves us at the mercy of our old blueprints, our reactionary selves. And it means we are not being inner directed, but outer directed.

Let me, day by day, be the master of my emotions.  Let me be the one who chooses how I feel and what I feel about everything and nothing.  This is my inheritance, this is my due process.  My judgement will set me free on the scales of peace and tranquility, for I know the sea of life around me whether in storm or in port is simply a feather upon which I calmly float.

And that reminds me of Forrest Gump suddenly.  Go figure.